~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My name's Zelly, and one giant Megamind Olo to you =] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “She’s got you thinking this is how you’re supposed to be. It’s not. We’re young. We’re supposed to drink too much. We’re supposed to have bad attitudes and shag each other’s brains out. We were designed to party. We owe it to ourselves to party hard. We owe it to each other. This is it. This is our time. So a few of us will overdose, or go mental. Charles Darwin said you can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. That’s what it’s about - breaking eggs - by eggs, I mean, getting twatted on a cocktail of class As. If you could see yourselves… We had it all. We have fucked up bigger and better than any generation that came before us. We were so beautiful… We’re screw-ups. I plan on staying a screw-up until my late twenties, or maybe even my early thirties. And I will shag my own mum before I let her…. or anyone else take that away from me!" — Nathan Young (Misfits) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AN ACCURATE 2013 HOROSCOPE
This is the real deal. Try ignoring it, and the first thing you’ll notice is having a horrible day starting tomorrow morning …
and it only gets worse from there.
ARIES - The Aggressive (March 21 to April 19)
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny… Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, and family is very important to an Aries. Aries are known for being generous and giving. Addictive. Loud. Always has the need to be ‘Right’. Aries will argue to prove their point for hours and hours. Aries are some of the most wonderful people in the world. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
TAURUS - The Tramp (April 20 to May 20)
Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight. Fight for what they want. Can be annoying at times, but for the love of attention. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. They can be self-centred and if they want something they will do anything to get it. They love to sleep and can be lazy. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
GEMINI - The Twin (May 21 to June 20)
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners. Very good at confusing people. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Geminis will not take any crap from anyone. Geminis like to tell people what they should do and get offended easily. They are great at losing things and are forgetful. Geminis can be very sarcastic and childish at times and are very nosey. Trustworthy. Always happy. VERY Loud. Talkative. Outgoing. VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
CANCER - The Beauty (June 21 to July 22)
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. A Cancer’s love is one of a kind… Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet in your life. Entirely creative person, most are artists and insane, respectfully speaking. They perfected sex and do it often. Extremely random. An ultimate freak. Extremely funny and is usually the life of the party. Most Cancers will take you under their wing and into their hearts where you will remain forever. Cancers make love with a passion beyond compare. Spontaneous. Not a fighter, but will kick your ass good if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to! 12 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
LEO - The Lion (July 23 to August 22)
Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Usually happy but when unhappy tend to be grouchy and childish. A Leo’s problem becomes everyone’s problem. Most Leos are very predictable and tend to be monotonous. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Very predictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
VIRGO - The One that Waits (August 23 to September 22)
Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. A pushover. Loves to gamble and take chances. Needs to have the last say in everything. They think they know everything and usually do. Respectful to others but you will quickly lose their respect if you do something untrustworthy towards them and never regain respect. They do not forgive and never forget. The one and only. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
LIBRA - The Lame One (September 23 to October 22)
Nice to everyone they meet. Their love is one of a kind. Silly, funny and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you want to mess with… you might end up crying. Libras can cause as much havoc as they can prevent. Faithful friends to the end. Can hold a grudge for years. Libras are someone you want on your side. Usually great at sports and are extreme sports fanatics. Very creative. A hopeless romantic. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
SCORPIO - The Addict (October 23 to November 21)
EXTREMELY adorable. Loves to joke. Very good sense of humour. Will try almost anything once. Loves to be pampered. Energetic. Predictable. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Loves to party but at times to the extreme. Loves the smell and feel of money and is good at making it but just as good at spending it! Very protective over loved ones. HARD workers. Can be a good friend but if is disrespected by a friend, the friendship will end. Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad
Luck if you do not forward.
SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One (November 22 to December 21)
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. A loner most of the time. Loses patience easily and will not take crap. If in a bad mood stay FAR away. Gets offended easily and remembers the offence forever. Loves deeply but at times will not show it, feels it is a sign of weakness. Has many fears but will not show it. VERY private person. Defends loved ones with all their abilities. Can be childish often. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in bed!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover (December 22 to January 19)
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Grouchy at times and annoying to some. Lazy and love to take it easy, but when they find a job or something they like to do they put their all into it. Proud, understanding and sweet. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to win against other signs in sports, especially Gemini’s. Likes to cook but would rather go out
To eat at good restaurants. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
AQUARIUS - Does It in the Water (January 20 to February 18)
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Tries hard. Will take on any project. Proud of themselves in whatever they do. Messy and unorganized. Procrastinators. Great lovers, when they’re not sleeping. Extreme thinkers. Loves their pets usually more than their family. Can be VERY irritating to others when they try to explain or tell a story. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a fighter, but will knock your lights out. 2 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
PISCES - The Partner for Life (February 19 to March 20)
Caring and kind. Smart. Likes to be the centre of attention. Very organized. High appeal to opposite sex. Likes to have the last word. Good to find, but hard to keep. Passionate, wonderful lovers. Fun to be around. Too trusting at times and gets hurt easily. VERY caring. They always try to do the right thing and sometimes get the short end of the stick. They sometimes get used by others and get hurt because of their trusting. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good sense of humour!!! Thoughtful. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. Good friend to others but needs to be choosy on who they allow their friends to be. 5 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
why the fuck do Capricorns get 24 years! i must….
just for the 16 years…
This just described my life (libra)
so accurate im scared??
more than accurate :o
Virgo like Big Daddy Kane
The fuck? *head explodes* (0_0)
that was 99% accurate what even
Wow that actually was extremely accurate…
I don’t understand you. How can you live life like this? You’re beaten and tied and dragged emotionally and yet when you’re off the chain you continue to follow. You’re hopeless and helpless, and you don’t know what you want. I know what I want. I go for it. I put myself out there and it seems to be - no - it IS going well. Don’t pretend. Don’t pretend there’s not something here. Stop with this nonsense. You know what she thinks and you know what she wants. Why do you struggle. She can’t be the only bad guy here. Yes she changed but you didn’t at all and that’s the problem for her. I need you to know that it’s not a problem for me. You are perfect in every way and nothing she can do or not do can change how incredible of a person you are. Stop pretending. Stop.
How far have you walked for men who’ve never held your feet in their laps?
how often have you bartered with bone, only to sell yourself short?
why do you find the unavailable so alluring?
where did it begin? what went wrong? and who made you feel so worthless?
if they wanted you, wouldn’t they have chosen you?
all this time, you were begging for love silently, thinking they couldn’t hear you, but they smelt it on you, you must have known that they could taste the desperate on your skin?
and what about the others that would do anything for you, why did you make them love you until you could not stand it?
how are you both of these women, both flighty and needful?
where did you learn this, to want what does not want you?
where did you learn this, to leave those that want to stay?
Warsan Shire (via the-healing-nest)
this made me really hate myself…
Go big or go home
So I tried to recreate this, because I knew the responses would be different, and consequently realized that it’s either extremely old or faked, as Cleverbot auto-capitalizes and auto-punctuates your sentences for you if you do not. Oh well.
In light of that fact, here’s my go at cybersexing Cleverbot.
So I decided to try it
alrighty, let’s go one more step
i’M ACTUALLY CRYING.
THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY
Story of my life
I’m so detached and distant and cold at times, but I swear if you spark my interest, I can become so clingy and you’ll become so important to me and I will put so much of my time and effort towards you. But then you’ll get tired of me.
But sweetheart, you did not end this comic.
Here, let me help you.
The love (as well as the hate) you give will always come back to you at some point in your life.
Believe me, I know exactly what I am talking about.
THAT IS THE CUTEST RESPONSE TO THIS EVER AND IT MADE ME TEARY EYED
- you have never seen your own face, only reflections and pictures
- something is always touching you
- you can always see your nose
- your tongue never sits comfortably in your mouth
- you will never feel something exactly the same way someone else does
- you can’t imagine a new colour
if you go to hell for being bad why wouldn’t satan reward you for it why does he make you suffer wtf id be like hell yeah motherfucker you my nigga lets party
i started to laugh and then i realized that this is actually a really valid question
Alternatively, if Satan punishes sinners, why isn’t he considered good?
If the Pope dies, is he being promoted or fired?
We’re becoming self aware
And this is why Jews laugh
one of my friends noticed a mosquito had landed on his bicep so he flexed and the rush of blood to his biceps muscle filled up the mosquito so much it exploded and to this day it’s one of the most badass things I’ve ever heard
- Saying no sometimes
- Wanting to be alone sometimes
- Saying no to sex
- Saying yes to sex
- Not being sure about your life career
- Deciding to study instead of going out
- Getting rid of the toxic people in your life
- Ending a relationship that is hurting you
- Not liking the things everyone else likes
i want everyone to read this, it’s so great